what happens next.

We look for auditions. Put them on the calendar. Show up. Print the headshot and resume. Grab the book of songs, or the sides, or the dance shoes. Pick out something to wear, it must represent you in the room. Do the hair, do the make up. Do your best to learn the choreography. Keep yourself calm. Do the thing and go back to your life. Class, the gym, a job, looking for another audition. Creating work?

I find myself thinking the 'what happens next' question over and over. I think its healthy to question where we are and what we're doing, but its weird that that question is built into the artists' life. Most jobs, and I say this knowing that I don't work most jobs, but most jobs you stay in until you decide to go and interview somewhere else. But with actors and singers and dancers, we need to interview several times a week, sometimes multiple times a day. And even when we are in a job, you must keep an ear to the ground for the next. 

When you're little and dream of being a dancer you think of being in rehearsal, being in a show. In college, you learn a process or at least the start of one. You learn what you like, what you don't like. But there aren't business classes for the actor. A way to study the career that will be your life. Somehow those things seem separate until you get to New York City and have to start living the day to day. And its the in between that is the hardest. Even in this wonderful city, where it can feel like vacation. I can go to a museum and sit in a cafe and take class. Work. I choose. And yet, sometimes I envy a world where I get to go to work during the week and enjoy the weekends. The structure that that offers. This life gives you lots of opportunities to question what we do and why, it can drive you a little nuts. So you try to give yourself structure, which helps. And then you book a show or do a job and feel all the rush and sense of self and place and purpose which were the reason you got into the business to feel. And if you are lucky, that job goes on for a while and you feel the 'job-ness' of it and that gets frustrating and is an interesting challenge. And then one day, you're back in your apartment hitting reset. 

 

And its just what we do. Might as well enjoy it. :) Off to a cafe.