which side of the table

Much of the focus of being an actor in the city is about process or about getting that next job. Once we get into the rehearsal room, we can exhale. We know what to do. How many opportunities to we get to be on the other side of the table? To watch auditions, to create work? 

I'm in the process of developing a piece of work. It's a musical and a good one. The show continues to grow and we are still just in the first stages of it. I'll announce as it becomes more real. But being on the side of the table that is about calling theaters, putting budgets together, assembling a team.... It's been interesting. I'm learning a tremendous amount about all the work that happens in order to get a bunch of actors into a room. Though I miss doing the thing. I miss being given a script to work on. And the following may be dramatic, but let's just allow for that, I wonder would I even know what I'm doing? I would. I've been thinking for a while about putting together a reading series. Just actors in a room, pick a play and go. But even that, feels like it takes more than just calling up a few friends. They have schedules, where to do it, how to get that many scripts? Though, I do think it would be fun. 

Why do we put a hold on things that we would really like to do? What is there to be scared of?