It has been a while. Too long really. I know. So today, I'm just writing. Writing furiously, not in the angry way, but writing to get ideas out of my head and onto the page. Before I eat some dinner and get to a rehearsal. Where have I been? I've been doing this:
Oh yes. All of those things for a week. A week with my family on one of the most beautiful beaches... Harbour Island in the Bahamas. It was stunning!! Hot days, pink sand that was cool under our feet, perfect water, wine by the bottle. I got to hang out with my littlest sister. Jadey. Who is the happiest little human. Full of wonder. Full of gut laughs and giggles. Smart and curious. The whole gang. It was just what I needed to get away from the everyday-ness of every day. Which can be great but also can make you lose perspective.
I needed a breath.
There was an island an hour away from where I went to college. We used to go sometimes on the weekend. It was so close. We should have gone even more. One particularly reflective day, I remember being in awe of the ocean. It is so big. I remember thinking that anything I had going on, any troubles, wishes, frustrations, doubts, hopes, dreams, thoughts, anything at at all... I could send them out into the horizon, over the ocean. Off into the distance. Isn't it amazing that the ocean carries fleets of boats? It carries the weight of the world and is also completely vulnerable to a baby's splashes. We can slip into the water and float on it just as easily. I figured anything I needed to release could go out there. And there have been a couple of times, this thought, deep or silly, has come back to me. I sit on the beach, I stare out to where the sky meets the water and I just send it out, whatever it is. And I always feel better or feel that it worked.
Where do you get that in the city? Where you can't necessarily see where the sun hits the ocean. Where there isn't this vast blue water to look out over. I wonder (if only I could get on my rooftop) if I could feel my thoughts cover the same distance where the sun meets the rooftops.